Maybe you have noticed that i have not submitted new photos of my little doll.
So please, forgive me
Reason no. 1: Elaina is without body
Reason no. 2: needed to apply for a job, so i had a 5 week traineeship. Now i have a contract of employment of indefinite duration (begins tomorrow). On the one hand, i'm happy about the job and the payment is adequate but at the other hand, i wish i could cancel the job before i start. I really want to quit the job but i can not...
Why? I do not think it is ok what my superior said to me.
He told me that i need to be glad that i'm sittin in a wheelchair, otherwise he would not hire me, otherwise no one would hire me. He told me that i'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer just because i finished my high school + vocational education but did not go to college. I mean... A lot of my old mates had a worse exam result and i have good one but they have found a job. He is one of those people who think it is always the best to tell the truth and yes, of course it is but...
There is a difference between just telling someone the truth or to be rude. It is ok to tell me what i did wrong etc. and it is even ok to tell me that is not the right job for me but it is not ok to get abusive. So, why he decided to hire me if i'm not smart enough to do the job?
It is nothing to be glad about it, to sit in a wheelchair but it is also nothing to cry about it. Even so it is nothing i would wish on a snake.
To be honest, i would do other things. I always wanted to travel & advocate for something good (charitable work), maybe working with kids and help people who have nothing. And if i have the time & money to buy myself such useless things, i have the time to spend it in important things, right?
I do like my workmates, they work hard & they are all such cute sweethearts and i was very motivated at the beginning but now i feel angry, unhappy & motiveless.
My family doctor (we know each other since i came to germany) told me that i should start to search for something new. He knows that i love arts/to draw etc. and he old me that i could join a class and socialize. Maybe i could run a course in the new future.
He said, it is good that I have already complete my education but he also told me that i can not stay like this and do something i do not like to do, just because people telling me it is "wise" to do it. He told me, People need to do what they love to do and not what other people thing it is best.
p.S. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is wonderful movie.